I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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