Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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