I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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