he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
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Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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