I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He did a backflip because drugs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize