and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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