lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
