Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
