I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
