What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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