If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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