Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
