Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
