Do vagina's smell?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
