he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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