i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
this will be a night to untag.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
