i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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