Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
the liver wants what the liver wants
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
