i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
