I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
