Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
