I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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