I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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