spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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