I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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