Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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