I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
In America we eat man semen.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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