Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize