Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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