her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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