Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
