Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
