thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
