I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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