I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
