ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
