i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
porn star boner night. come get it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
