just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Couch. On fire.
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