where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
