I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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