I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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