I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
