Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
