so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize