It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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