Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
