he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
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My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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