Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
