and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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