She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize