i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
