"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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