Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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