when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
