my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
