after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
