Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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