Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
