Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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