I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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